Day Three

The things women will do to share in the joys of being a mother. I have now been on Gonal F for three days. I am exhausted. I honestly feel as though I have not slept in months. Last night I was stumbling about the house like a drunken fool. They mention the side effects at your appointment, in your information packages and when you pick up your prescription. Little do you know how intense they actually are. 

Fatigue (that’s a understatement)

Pelvic sensations (I believe I am feel exactly what my ovaries are doing)

Headaches (a dull pain that does not subside)

Light headedness (standing after sitting takes effort)

Mood swings (I work in retail and I cannot stand anyone who has walked through the door lately, each person seems to annoy me somehow)

The lengths to be a mother. If treatments work, I will love this baby more than my life itself. What I’m putting my body and my mind through. 

The days, though full of symptoms, are getting easier to cope with our need for medical assistance. I am understanding that this does not make me less of a woman. If anything, it shows my passion as a woman to do what I am genetically engineered to do in life.

My husband is supportive beyond measure. He does not ask questions, doesn’t complaint about how I’m feeling and just offers to do anything. 

Sunday is my first ultrasound. From here we find out how my body is doing with the drugs and how much longer I will need to take them.

My husband is being deployed. Though we have known this for 6 months, we still do not know what day he leaves. Our deal since day one together was if he ever got deployed we would get pregnant so that I would never miss having the children of my one true love.

I worry he won’t be here when it’s time for insemination. I’m starting to panic. 


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